Hi Reader,

I want to invite you to do an exercise I do with my Ember Circles close to the beginning of our time together.

Here's how we start…

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Take a moment and think about the most beautiful relationship you can imagine - one in which you feel wildly supported.

How would you want that person to show up for you?

What would you want them to do?

How would you like to feel when you are with them?

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I'd want the other person to be fully present and deeply listening whenever they are with me. They'd regularly ask me - "How are you? Really?".

I'd want to feel safe enough to answer that truthfully and fully - feeling seen and held.

I'd want the other person to support me unconditionally - be my ultimate cheerleader. I'd want them to help me see the best in myself.

I'd want to do things with them that bring me joy, pleasure and that make me feel alive.

In the morning - I'd want them to greet me with a 'hello beautiful!' - and for us to take a moment together to reconnect to what matters most. 💗

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Now, as you hold your own version of that relationship in your mind, imagine that this other person was grumpy one morning. Imagine they put off your time together because they had a deadline they had to meet.

You'd likely understand...no big deal.

But if that happened enough times - if they rarely made time for you, or they consistently put work or other people's needs before yours - what would happen?

How would the relationship change if they stopped being present, were on their phone all the time, and you rarely did things together that brought you joy?

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For me - the relationship would undoubtedly weaken. Even if it didn't happen intentionally, I know we would slowly become strangers. And eventually, when they did call there might be nothing to say.

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Now imagine that relationship wasn't with someone else - but was with yourself.

How have you been showing up, caring for, and listening to yourself? How healthy is that most sacred of relationships?

Two years ago, I realized that I had been spending so much time trying to be all things to all people that I had only given myself the crumbs. It suddenly made sense that I was struggling to connect to my inner voice and hear my wants above all the 'shoulds'.

When we've damaged the relationship to ourselves burnout can result. Our motivation can be dampened, we can be filled with doubt when we make decisions, and we can struggle to be present with those with love.

It can also cause our decisions to echo the powerful norms we are trying to change. Our auto-pilot actions can end up falling into the grooves of scarcity, fear, and extraction that are already so deeply worn.

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Read back through this email and imagine that the way you showed up for yourself was the way you imagined that ideal relationship. Then think of what would become possible if that was the case.

Nurturing our inner voice and ourselves is how we start re-wiring our own life, our community, and the world.

Honoring that most sacred relationship is where it all starts.

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In these turbulent times, I hope you can protect and draw on that relationship with yourself.

And if you find that you could use a community, a process, and some tools to help you strengthen it, I invite you to join me in the next Ember Circle. I created it with you in mind. 💗

Learn More

With love,

Jess xo

P.s. Check out the program guide for more details on the next circle (starting the week of Jan.24th). Those who express interest by the end of the day tomorrow will get to vote on call times - just hit reply, and I'll set you up!