“Do you think they will be offended?” I asked my husband.

“Maybe - but you should do it anyway,” he replied.

That’s how I spent the eve of my 43rd birthday, wearing all the layers I could fit under my coat and sitting on the forest floor with some dear friends.

We were on a moonlit forest bath and drinking sweet cedar tea as we closed out a magical walk. It was led by my friend - Shannon Clarke.

I had reached out to her just the day before,

"I know it's short notice - but can you guide a forest bath for my bday tomorrow?"

Much to my delight - my last-minute planning came together and turned a rather lacklustre birthday - into one I'll treasure.

Reflecting on this year - that decision comes up as something I'm pretty proud of. I would never have set that forest bath up just a few years ago.

My birthday fell on a day when five of my in-laws were visiting from across the country and the world. The visit was unplanned and had a challenging emotional undercurrent unlike any other.

My partner was working especially hard…making food, cleaning up, figuring out where to take folks who aren't used to the cold, and all that stuff that comes from being a host. He was exhausted.

So I wasn't expecting much for my birthday.

But as the day grew closer, I realized that waiting for others to meet my needs was just a recipe for disappointment.

And sticking around to make another dinner for nine on my bday was clearly a recipe for my resentment.

So, I didn't stay for the family dinner. Or help put the kids to bed.

I went and did exactly what I most wanted.

Bathed in the forest in the moonlight with some friends.

And it was glorious in all the ways I wanted my birthday to be.

:::

All too often, we assume other people will know what we need.

That meeting our needs has to come at the expense of someone else's.

That we'll address them later.

That they aren't that important.

That someone else's needs are clearly more important than ours.

And while these things can sometimes be true.

The opposite is true more than we are conditioned to think.

And finally, at 43, I can see that the cost of consistently not honouring my needs and desires is much higher than I'm willing to pay.

To letting disappointment and resentment be our guides and honouring our needs in 2024,

xo Jess

Tree For Your Year Join me for a free visioning session for 2024 drawing on the wisdom of trees. I run this every year and people love it! I've been told it's the most grounding, and creative way of getting intentional about what you want most in the year ahead. Wed. Jan. 3rd 4:30pm PT / 7:30pm ET One-click registration here